Confessions

Hi , so this post is really about my feelings and confessions . I know , nobody's perfect but we still have to try our best to seem perfect to others . Lucky to those whose life are amazing , wonderful and no worries at all . The type of worries I'm talking about isn't exactly studies or anything , it's about life when people judge you , underestimate you , bring down the moods of others and etc .

Firstly, I'm a type of girl that hides her feelings . I can't do anything to change it , because If I express it out to others , it will just make things worse and also , I'm not a type of girl that gets mad or angry easily . I don't like to pick fights . So, the effect on that is ... I hide my feelings until one day it hurts badly and I tend to stay in my room, listening to musics , reading books and also, I cry. Go ahead and think I'm weak, but that's really how I feel . Most of you would think that it's nothing serious . But It actually is alright ?

And what makes my mood go down ? underestimation , when I regret ,a person brings down my mood , people judging me , people who try to stay away from me , and those who just make me hate them for life . Trust me , most people who care about me thinks that my life is amazing and nothing to worry about, but it's wrong . I'm just really good at hiding my feelings from people and I don't have the guts to tell them because of what will happen . I swear , this is serious and it's not like a 5 year old crying and getting sad because they didn't get an ice-cream or just got told off by their parents .

To the people who say hi to me and manage to bring a smile on my face , I really like you . And we should be best friends , but end of the day Your skin color is all that matters . Yea, it includes judging others . Sometimes , I just like to be alone and not having people feel sympathy about me . I just don't . My REAL friends are the ones that make me happy and joyful . They make me forget about the things in life . I would really want to list down their names , but I'm also confused . Or , it's better if I just say , I have trust issues in my friends , no wait best friends . 

I feel like , oh she's amazing and all , and we talk everytime so are we best friends ? I mean, people could come and go whenever they like . They mess with your feelings and that's exactly how I feel.    Because I think that they might not like me , and they're just friends with me because there's no other people to talk . But yea , There is around 4  or 5 true friends . And , I love you guys for that :)

- I JUST WANT TO GET AWAY FROM MY PROBLEMS -